Welcome Owen Ray Rothert

128C5FEB-A326-429E-AD7E-D1AC073A7305 (1)Three years, almost to the day of my first born, my second son was born. Owen Ray Rothert. He was born 10 days late, 10 lbs and full of lessons for me to uncover.

If you have read my blog post about the birth that brought Matteo into the world, you would understand that I had reason to be nervous about baby number two. My first labor really proved how unpredictable birth can be. How even “the doula” can’t predict nor control the outcome of this mystical experience.

I did my fair share of processing and healing in the 3 years that followed Matteo’s birth, but when faced with the reality of going through it again, I recognized that I was experiencing some PTSD. The fact is, I honestly almost died the first time, and this time I had more to lose. That felt really big and really scary in my heart.

However, it did not sway me from wanting another homebirth. Although Matteo’s story had a very traumatic ending, the labor itself was beautiful. There is honestly nothing like giving birth in your own bed, with nothing but the people you hand selected to be a part of this experience. Free from having to get into a car and fight LA traffic during the intensity of contractions, free from strangers forcing their agenda on you, free from the need to explain things to medical staff that may not understand your vision.

Yes, my homebirth did not go as planned, but it did prove that the system works. We had 30 hours of labor and 30 blissful minutes of gazing into each others eyes in our own home, before it all changed. Emergencies are rare in homebirth. Most women transfer to the hospital for exhaustion or failure to progress. Very rarely do you see something as extreme, like I experienced.  And as I said, the system worked. I was in need of immediate care outside of my midwife’s abilities, and within minutes the ambulance was driving me to the hospital. The hospital staff acted fast and they saved my life. Amen. Thank God, the Universe, the stars…whatever you believe.

So here I was, 30 weeks pregnant, planning my second homebirth, trying to work through some of this PTSD that continued to come up in my yoga, my meditations and subconscious thoughts. But, I could not shake it. I could not shake the fear, the “what if’s”, the potential of all that trauma happening to me and my family again. Afterall, as a Doula, I know without a doubt, that fear gets in the way of birth.

So I switched gears. I decided on a hospital birth. Little did I know that I was only exchanging one set of fears for another.

The next 10 weeks were full of disappointing doctor visits. The wait times were 45 minutes, and the visit itself was always less than 10, during which it became apparent to me that the doctors and I did not speak the same language, nor did we have the same viewpoint on birth. Their focus was fear. Mine was trust. This sent me into a spiral of wondering if I had made the right decision after all.

However, a few weeks before my due date, with some work on quieting my “new” fears and trusting in my decision, the doula in me decided to “get real” with my choices and expectations for my hospital delivery. This conversation with the doctor resulted in a very heated discussion followed by many tears. Yet, it was in this moment that all the walls came down. The OBGYN really saw me. She heard me. And this was apparently all I needed to proceed with the faith that it was all going to work out just the way it was supposed to.

Fast forward to my due date. Then 2,3,4….10 days past it, my water breaks at 8:00pm. My son was just getting out of the bath and I was naked standing over a towel on the floor (thank goodness!) ready to get in the shower. My husband and I locked eyes and prepared for the shift, accepting that our lives were about to change yet again.

By the time he finished putting Matteo to bed (8:35pm) my contractions were already 2 minutes apart and were getting stronger by the minute. Our Doula, Kathy Stanclift, arrived by 9pm and by 10:30pm we decided it was time to head to the hospital.

That was the longest 20 minutes of my life!!! I was half naked on all fours in the trunk of our Toyota Highlander. Every stop light, speed bump, and turn felt like agnony!

We arrived in a whirlwind. I felt so much pressure and I’ll be honest, pain. I’m not one of those Doulas that believes in a “pain free birth.” Birth is painful. But it’s also incredibly powerful.

When we arrived, I was 4 cm. However I knew intuitively that it was almost time. I could feel him coming. Dilation after all, is just a number in labor. Some women take hours to progress from one number to another, while some women go from 2cm-10cm in a matter of minutes…it’s all relative.

Sure enough 45 minutes later, after many screams, moans, “I can’t do this”, oh wait “Yes I can”, and counting my breath from 1 to 10 over and over, I felt the urge to push.

However in this moment, the fear creeped its way back in. It took me 6 hours of pushing with my firstborn son, and ultimately my uterus came out with him and I almost died.

Okay. Deep breaths Chelsea. Focus. Pray. Trust. Push! He’s coming one way or another!

Twenty minutes later, out he came! All 10lbs of him! With a brief scare of shoulder dystocia because of his size and some pretty significant bleeding which required some attention, I was grateful that I was in the hospital. I was supported. I was safe. I was alive. And just like that, I was a mother of 2. We were a family of 4. Magic! Pure Magic!

My son Owen Ray, was born on 3/13 in Room 313 during a butterfly migration. Yes, he was 10 days late and I could have been talked into induction. Yes, he was a “big baby” and I could have been talked into induction or even cesarean. But, I believed. I believed in the power of my body, in the strength of my mind, and I trusted in the process of birth itself. Was it easy? Hell no. Was it perfect? Absolutely not. But it was our story and one I will treasure forever.

Giving birth to a second child is different than the first time. During my pregnancy, I continually questioned my ability to love another child as much as I loved Matteo. Everyone told me to simply trust. Trust that the heart is capable of expansion beyond comprehension. That somehow I just would love him just as much. And it turns out, they were right. Right about it all. Somehow this little soul completes me. He fits perfectly into our family. My heart seemed to be hiding a private chamber reserved just for him. One I didn’t even know existed.

I am so grateful for these 2 boys. Grateful to be their mother, their mirror, their light.

Forever each others’ greatest teacher.

Welcome to the world Owen Ray. My ray of light.






A doula’s Hospital Bag Tips…

There are so many blogs out there with lists of “hospital bags must haves.” However, if imagesyou are like me, you may have found that many were just too basic and others had things on the list I have never even heard of! So I decided to make a list of my own. A list for women hoping for a natural birth, who aspire to begin motherhood with a calm, prepared mind, body and spirit.

Labor & Delivery Bag…

  • 2 copies of a Birth Plan signed by your doctor
  • A small gift basket for your nurses to bribe their affections and care:) You may consider including fresh oranges, nuts, healthy bars, gift certificates ($10 or less), lip balm, hand cream….Don’t over do it. Just something sweet and simple that says “please take good care of us”
  • Phone chargers, camera + charger
  • Comfortable night gown to labor in. Try to find something that has buttons down the front, or loose straps. Think of easy access for skin to skin upon delivery. You may consider Pretty Pushers
  • Socks with grip pads on the bottom, slippers or flip flops
  • A light robe or long sweater that you can cover with for walks around the hospital halls
  • Your spouse may want to bring a bathing suit if you want them to accommodate you in the shower or tub
  • Toiletries that include: lip balm, a few hair ties, face wash, your favorite scented lotion for massage, toothbrush and paste. You may consider bringing your own shampoo and conditioner for both you and baby’s first bath. The hospital has only cheap chemical based options
  • 2 tennis balls in a sock for massage and counter pressure during labor
  • A thick scarf (rebozo) for re-positioning the baby if necessary
  • Essential oils for labor
  • Honey sticks. Studies have shown that sipping on honey can build energy significantly during labor
  • Snacks. Although the hospital will tell you that you cannot eat or drink during labor for emergency reasons, most birth advocates will tell you thats crazy! You just need to be sure to snack on things that are safe and easily digestible. Consider the following: peeled cucumbers,  apple sauce, watermelon, baby food pouches (with fruit and veggies), juice blend (with fruit and veggies), coconut water and gatorade for hydration. Plus your favorite healthy meal for after baby comes! You will have just undergone a marathon and then be given hospital food. Bring something that will really nourish you!
  • 2 pillows with cases you don’t care about
  • Consider a birth ball & yoga mat for kneeling on
  • Playlist (make sure you have a minimum of 15 hours of music) with speakers & charger
  • Flameless candles can really help to keep the environment calm and serene
  • Drivers licence, insurance card and cash

Postpartum bag….

  • Maternity leggings, nursing shirts and bra. You will look about 6 months pregnant after delivery, as your uterus shrinks back down to its pre-pregnancy size
  • Comfortable nightgown
  • Your own pads. The hospital will give you a diaper!
  • 3-5 pairs of old or reusable undies
  • Spray bottle with witch hazel to use on pads until you get home. Then replace with padsicles (see below). Also I strongly suggest bottom balm
  • Magnesium for the constipation that usually sets in post birth
  • Receiving blanket and organic cotton newborn clothing
  • Reusable or non-toxic baby wipes
  • Nipple balm and any other healing tools. I LOVED these silver nipple caps. They were SO amazing!
  • Hand pump in case you need to build up supply should there be any nursing issues
  • Prenatal vitamins
  • Possibly a nursing pillow

Before leaving for the hospital consider….

  • Make or purchase bone broth. Freeze for freshness upon return
  • Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. I’ve made a very concentrated batch using this mixed with honey and put into ice cubes. When you get home you can pop several into a cup and add water. You can find recipe for a strong, labor day brew here
  • Make padsicles for postpartum recovery

You can also find great ideas on Pintrest….


Happy packing!!!

1st Trimester Yoga Modifications

There is a lot of mixed information out there on what is safe and what is not during the templefirst trimester. The most general advice given comes from the basic “do’s and don’ts” of a yoga teacher training. We have all heard: No holding your breath. If you are not breathing, neither is your baby. No deep twists. Twisting can be very detoxifying. But what else??

A women should consider a variety of things when playing it safe on the mat. The most common misconception is; because I’m not really showing, I can still continue to do everything as I was previously. Wrong!

There are a few specific things that a women should avoid during her first trimester. In fact, I believe that this is the time when a woman should nurture and modify the most. Those first few weeks are such a working miracle in progress!

In weeks four to five of early pregnancy, the embryo grows and develops within the lining of the womb. The outer cells reach out to form links with the mother’s blood supply. The inner cells form into two, and then later, into three layers. Each of these layers will grow to be different parts of the baby’s body.

The fifth week of pregnancy already the baby’s nervous system is developing, and the foundations for its major organs are in place.

The sixth through eighth week the heart can sometimes be seen beating via ultrasound. The brain is growing rapidly, limb buds start to form cartilage which will develop into the bones of the legs and arms, and the placenta is continuing to develop, forming structures  that attach the placenta to the wall of the womb.

Just 12 weeks later the baby is fully formed. All its organs, muscles, limbs and bones are in place, and the sex organs are well developed. From now on, it has to grow and mature.

We may not be able to see or feel all of this work happening, but it is! And it requires a women to be safe and sweet to her body during this time.

According to the March of Dimes, as many as 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Most often before a woman misses a menstrual period or even knows she is pregnant. About 15-25% of recognized pregnancies will end in a miscarriage. More than 80% of miscarriages occur within the first three months of pregnancy.

Knowing the reality of these statistics make me even more cautious when working with pregnant women. My personal mantra through the whole 40+ weeks of pregnancy is “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” This really helped me to personally decipher what was intuitively safe for me and what wasn’t.

So for all of you Power Vinyasa lovers out there who have recently become pregnant, please be kind to your body and your growing baby and treat both of you with care.

Rule #1

Avoid ALL twists during your first trimester. Most teachers will tell you, or you may just assume that because you do not have a big belly yet, that it is safe to still twist or at least do “open twists.” I personally disagree. All twist are detoxifying. Period. At a time when so much is developing, attaching, growing…its best to keep the abdomen free from any chance of purification or purging at all. If your instructor is cueing the class to twist from traditional poses such as chair pose, crescent pose, or any supine position; just simply stay in the original variation and leave the twist behind.

Rule #2

You have a surging hormone known as Relaxin in the body now. Levels are at their highest in the first trimester, peaking at 14 weeks. At this time it’s known to help implantation of the developing fetus into the wall of the uterus and the growth of the placenta. Early in pregnancy, relaxin also inhibits contractions in the wall of the uterus, to prevent premature birth. This is a wonderful and necessary hormone for labor and delivery. However, it is a dangerous hormone for exercise. It leaves a women highly susceptible to over-stretching, instability and injury. It is very easy to pull muscles or fall out of poses that you have done thousands of times before. So the general rule here is: be kind to yourself. Don’t take all the advanced options offered. Lower a knee when possible. Use props. Shorten your stance in all warrior poses. Avoid inversions in case you fall on your belly. Just think “less is more.”

Rule #3

Be mindful not to overheat the body. It is believed that overheating in early pregnancy, can harm a developing baby. Pregnancy adds to one’s body temperature, regardless of the weather or any physical activity by a pregnant woman. With 40% more blood pumping through the body to nourish the fetus, a pregnant body does enough work to heat the internal system. Even the heart is said to enlarge a little in pregnancy and moves to a side with the enlarging uterus occupying more space in the body. If your body overheats, you may develop cramps, nausea, faintness, or even life threatening organ damage. Also, your baby may be at risk of birth defects if your body temperature is too high during the first trimester, according to the American Pregnancy Association. Additionally, you may be at a greater overall risk of miscarriage if your body temperature gets too high at any point during pregnancy. Today mostly every yoga studio is heated to some degree. So be sure to wear light weight clothing. Set up your mat near a window. Take childspose as often as needed. Drink plenty of water before, during and after each practice. And remember that breathing out the mouth is the best way to cool down the internal body.

Rule #4

We’ve already covered that holding the breath is not safe during pregnancy. However it goes beyond that. Mostly all other stimulating breath techniques such as Breath of fire, kapalbati, Agni Sara should be avoided as well. If you are working one-on-one with a trained prenatal teacher, or have been told specifically that a breath is safe for you, then practice; but never assume that a breath technique is safe unless told otherwise. Ujaii breathing is the perfect calming breath that provides both mama and baby with the oxygen they need. When in doubt stick to this.

A great first trimester breath known as Shitali Breathing can help curb some of those early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea, heartburn, acid reflux and anxiety.

You can see an instructional video here.

Ladies, hopefully these tips will inspire you to take it easy and treat your changing body with the care that it needs during this transitional time. The first trimester can be filled with a wide rage of emotions, fatigue, and overall sluggishness. Once the fog begins to lift you may feel like you “should” be doing more than just laying around eating white bread products all day. I’m here to remind you that when you do return to that mat, be sure to do it safely!

Namaste ~







My Birth Story…Welcome Matteo Rothert

I write to tell my story, to let out what feels like a “secret” that very few know the true details of. I write because as time goes on, the silence of Matteo’s birth sits heavier and heavier in my heart. Don’t get me wrong, the day he was born was truly the best day of my life. However, it was also one of the hardest and scariest days yet.

As a doula, prenatal yoga teacher and childbirth educator, one of the first question people ask me is “So…how did it go?!” This has been very hard for me. I’ve answered mostly with vague responses. I’ve asked myself over and over why I kept the details of his birth to myself. Why its taken me so long to even get the courage to write it down on paper. I guess sharing my story makes the weight of what happened real. I also realize it may put fear into others minds about the unknown and unforeseen dangers of birth. I wasn’t ready to receive the sympathy from the outside world. I was afraid that the naysayers of Home Birth would say “I told you so.” I was astonished that the “doula” could have a 1 in 3000 scenario happen to her, when so often I tell my students not to worry about things that are so “rare.” I was disappointed and even embarrassed that such a beautiful and easy pregnancy and truthfully labor, turned so traumatic in the end.

So why share my story now? Because its my story. As unexpected as it was, its my truth and as I tell every women after her labor experience, no matter what the outcome is, its important to tell your story. To release it. To give it life, just like you gave life to your baby.

Every women experiences some kind of “trauma” during childbirth. Whether that be physical trauma or emotional. Things very rarely go as planned. The whole event is raw and wild and a true spiritual awakening. Its a rollercoaster ride of emotions from conception to birth and beyond. My hope for women, myself included, has always been to feel a sense of peacefulness in the end. To feel happy and content with the way things unfolded, even if things were ultimately out of your control.

These are questions I have been sitting with for months now. Do I feel content with the outcome? Do I have peace in my heart about Matteo’s birth story? Have I surrendered to what ultimately was? I guess these words, this story, is my YES to those questions. I’m ready to share because I know that it will free me from these guilty and untruthful thoughts that somehow I caused this to happen. That it was something we did or didn’t do during pregnancy, labor, and pushing. This was a medical rarity. Plain and simple. Something my midwife had not encountered since 1983. I continue to hold in my heart, the daily prayer I said during my entire pregnancy. I prayed each day that God would give me a labor and delivery that I could handle emotionally, physically and spiritually. This is what I was given, so who am I to argue with God? This is where the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” comes in.

I almost died the day my son was born, but I didn’t. Instead I am here, grateful, in love beyond my wildest dreams, healthy and strong with a story to tell.

My labor started at about 3:30am on March 8th, 2016. A new moon. I awoke to mild cramping. Nothing major, but enough for me as a doula to recognize that this was indeed the beginning of something. We had our last midwife appointment at 11:00am that morning. Contractions were still mild but coming every 30 minutes or so. Matt and I went home, packed a bag and headed for the beach. We went down to Dockwiler beach where we knew we wouldn’t run into anyone we knew. Together we walked up and down the oceans edge. It was a chilly, windy morning, but the sun was big and bright in the sky. We saw a baby seal playing in the water edge. After a couple hours of walking, swaying and hands and knees, we headed home for some lunch. Things started to pick up a little, contractions were coming every 8-10 minutes. I ran a bath and soaked for a while. When the sun began to set in the sky, we decided to head back to the beach for our last sunset as 2. When we walked out the front door, we saw a hawk sitting on our neighbors fence. It felt like a really special omen. During the sunset, I got a contraction that hit me hard. Again I recognized this as the beginning of my active labor phase. We headed home right away, having to stop the car a couple of times to breath through the sensations I was experiencing.

Funny enough when we got home I tried to watch The Bachelor thinking this could distract me from the pain. I was SO wrong! I got through about 7 minutes before I realized this was not something I could be distracted from, it was something that officially needed all of my attention and mental control. I headed into the nursery, started my labor playlist, rocked in the rocking chair while holding onto the mala necklace that Anne made me from my baby blessing. I read a few of the blessings my girlfriends had written for me and the baby and I cried. They were tears of pain, of excitement, of fear, of joy, and so much gratitude. Looking back on this now, I realize how sacred this moment truly was. This is what I pictured for all the months leading up to that moment. Me, connected, strong, and fully present with the magic of labor. My water broke here and I retreated to the tub once again. Shortly after, I took refuge on the bathroom floor, leaning over the birth ball swaying my hips, moaning with eyes closed. I vaguely remember one of my best friends Berit coming by and stroking my hair. I was in the thick of what I refer to as “laborland” so I don’t remember much of that time. All I know is that ultimately I asked Matt to call our doula Holly and have her come over. It was about 10:30pm. We did loops around the house of walking and swaying for about an hour before calling our midwife and assistant to come over and check on me. They arrived at 11:30pm. I had decided earlier on that I did not want to know how far dilated I was. I did not want it to set me up for any kind of expectations for how much longer things would be. For a little while they stuck around, so I thought that was good news, but then about 45 mins later, they left and said to call again when things progressed a little further. Turns out I was about 4cm, but not knowing that at the time, I decided I needed to get my head in game. I knew it could still be quite sometime, so I dove deeper into myself, my breath and my meditation. At that point all I could do was count from 20 down to 1, over and over and over again. I didn’t talk or even make a sound. I was completely focused on my breath and my counting. We realized that Matteo was probably not in the best position as my contractions were one on top of the other. Not giving me any rest in between. So we did a lot of different positional changes to see if we could move him. Sitting backwards on the toilet with my head resting on pillows was my favorite. We did side lying with pillows on the floor, more walking about the kitchen, swaying and leaning over my dresser. I even got into the birthing tub hoping that would help, but that water was too warm and made me feel very tired. Finally I started to say I cannot do this anymore. The intensity was too much, I was tired, I was in pain, I hadn’t eaten since lunch, I was feeling those feelings of defeat. I have seen this in many mothers right before their babies were born, but I was too in the moment to recognize how far I had come. All I remember during those long hours was Holly giving necessary guidance and Matt being my rock. I was so grateful they were both by my side. Around 5:30am March 9th, my whole body began to tremble, lots of fluid was coming out of me. I was sitting on the edge of the couch in the living room, moaning and groaning. I said it was time to get the midwife back here to check me. I couldn’t go on like this. She arrived at 6am and confirmed I was completely dilated! We could start pushing! Hallelujah! I remember Matt saying “Do I have time to go to the bathroom?” Little did we know that would be the biggest joke of the day. Again, looking back now, the doula in me recognizes I didn’t have the urge to push yet. I should have just tried to doze off and let the baby move down. But, we didn’t. I was so tired and eager to get this over with and meet my baby! We didn’t even know if it was a boy or girl yet. So I began pushing. 2 Hours later we could see a some dark hair coming. The top of my babies head. It was so exciting, but it was such hard work. No matter how hard I pushed, no matter what position I pushed from, I could not get him to budge. I tried squatting, side lying, standing, hands and knees, they tried pushing down on my abdomen, pushing in the tub, on the toilet. You name it, we did it. All the while we continued to check his heart rate. Strong. Content. So we kept on going. They fed me melon and spoonfuls of honey to try and give me more energy. By 10am, 4 hours later, I agreed to an IV bag of fluids. My contractions had slowed down quite a bit at this time, and the birth team started to talk about transferring me to the hospital. They all felt that we had done everything we could, and still nothing was happening, except I was getting more and more fatigued. Pure defeat and frustration and disappointment flooded my mind. How could I have come this far, only to be transferred because I couldn’t get my baby out? I rested for a little while, got back into the birth tub and soaked with Matt. He was so loving and encouraging. At one point I was back on the toilet crying and Matt started praying. Praying God would restore me, guide us, and give me hope. He looked deeply into my eyes and said “I know you can babe. I know you can.” I started to feel the life coming back to me then. I decided to give it another try. Sadly after another hour, still no success. Just as my midwife was photocopying my records for transfer, Holly and I went into the bedroom alone to try one last thing. I was leaning over the footstool and she was standing on my bed with the rebozo around my waist. She did the shuffle, shaking the piece of fabric quickly to get that baby to move into a better position. It was intense. But soon enough, I felt the baby slump down. It was the first time in almost 6 hours that I actually felt the urge to push. Back to the toilet, in a wide straddle, Holly began to talk to me in a firm and meditative way. Continued to chant words to me about relaxing, letting the baby come to me, opening up, letting the sensations come to me just like an orgasm – if you try to hard it wont happen – you just need to surrender. I started to rock heavily and moaning began to happen involuntarily. My midwife came back and said “these sound different, lets get back on the bed.” Walking from the bathroom to the bedroom I felt like I had a bowling ball between my legs! I started pushing again and I could feel the difference. Matt and I began to kiss, sensually. I let myself go just like Holly said and I felt my baby moving down and coming out. I asked for an episiotomy in the end, as I simply could not push 1 more time on my own. But once it was done, I felt that baby slide out of my body and arrive wet and warm on my chest. It was 12:37pm when Matt yelled, its a BOY! He looked like a boy, no question. Olive skin and a head full of dark black hair. My son. We all cried. Even my midwife cried. 6 hours of pushing, I think we all gave up on the idea that this baby would ever be born at home. It felt like such a victory! It felt so worth everything! They gave me a big glass of the best tasting orange juice I have ever had and Matt began taking photos and texting family to tell them the good news. I just stared at my son in awe. I was delirious with love, exhaustion, and hunger. It was the most surreal moment. I remember thinking in that very moment that I had just gone through the biggest challenge of my life, and thank God it was over.

Then about 30 minutes had passed and still no placenta. The doula in me started to feel a little concerned. I also could see a calm but serious look on my midwife’s face. She was giving little tugs on the cord, backing off, waiting. The room went from celebration to concern. Then my midwife told me to push once again and when I did I felt a hot burning sensation in my belly. I felt like I pushed harder in that moment than I did to get Matteo out. I just felt a huge mass come out of my body. Lying on my back I could not see what was going on but I saw an alarming look on my midwifes face and she said “Chelsea I think you just pushed your uterus out. I have to try to push it back in. Matt you need to call 911 right now.” She was so calm, I could see that Matt was thinking….ahhh do we have too? We just finally succeeded at home! Clearly he did not understand the severity of the situation. I don’t think any of us did. For the next few minutes she tried to get my uterus back inside. Just for a visual, I remind you that a uterus is 500 times its normal size during pregnancy. Not to mention that after 6 hours of pushing the uterus is physically exhausted. She finally push it back inside and waited with her whole forearm up inside of me for the paramedics to come. At this point I have already begun to fade in and out of consciousness. I hear within minutes the sound of many footsteps in my house. I hear the voices of men asking questions. All I can do it pray, stay calm and breath. Nothing more. They could not get the gurney into the house so they tell me they are just going to wrap my body up in my bed sheet and carry me out. Hold on they say. Im wrapped up in my white bed sheet and carried out of the house. When we get outside the heat and brightness of the sun hits me like a bolt to the heart. It causes me to open my eyes and I see that I am hanging in a blood soaked sheet in my front lawn in the middle of the day. This memory is something that Im not sure I will ever get over. It was the realest moment of my life. In the ambulance ride to the hospital I continue to say over and over again that I cannot breath. I need them to know this is happening to me. I need them to know that I feel like I am dying. They keep asking me questions and I cannot answer them. I’m trying in my mind, but nothing is coming out of my mouth. I hear Matt and the baby then and I realize they are there with me. The last thing I remember is feeling the warmth of my tears rolling down my cheeks.

I have a few memories of being wheeled very quickly down many hallways, of yelling from hospital staff, of more questions that I cannot answer. Then black.

I groggily awake to see Holly and Matt and the baby. I am so out of it and barely coherent. I can only manage to recognize the panic stricken, tear stained faces of these 2 beautiful people, to realize that I am ok but they were not always sure that would be the case. I mumble that my throat and neck hurt and ask when will I feel better. Then I fall asleep again. This happens over the course of a few hours. I feel gentle strokes on my hair. They ask if I want to hold the baby. I do not. At first I ask, who’s baby? They remind me, mine. I sleep again.

I awake many hours later to find out that my uterus did indeed come out and was pulled inside out while doing so (a complete inverted uterus) I’m told I’ve have had multiple blood transfusions, I’ve been given multiple drugs to shrink and to keep my uterus inside, I’m on a high dosage of antibiotics and pain killers, and I almost had a hysterectomy. None of this matters. I am alive. I finally get to hold my baby. The look in Matts eyes in that moment is something I will never forget. I cannot even find the right words to explain it, but Im sure I don’t have to. He told me then, that Matthew Rothert (the 1st) (Matteo is the 4th) his mother died during childbirth. As I was being wheeled away from Matt he said he kept trying to squeeze my hand, but it was limp, and all he could think was that history was repeating itself, and that I too was going to die.

The days that followed in the hospital were hard. I was given 3 more blood transfusions, had complications with my heart, and my whole body swelled up from the antibiotics and fluids I had to be on. My stress levels were at an all time high. We chose a home birth for reason. To be home with our baby, connecting, bonding, blissful. But instead we were in a busy hospital, different people coming in and out to poke and prod me. Matt was sleeping on a cot with the baby. Nobody had any clothes or shoes for that matter. We were notifying family members, dealing with insurance, and learning how to care for this newborn! I felt a true sense of sadness, overwhelm, and disappointment invade my mind and body. The only thing getting me through it was the sweetness of my baby. His perfection. His smell. His eyes. His warmth. I am alive. I get to be his mother. I can get through this.

We were discharged 3 days later. The doctor on-call sat us down before we left and strongly encouraged Matt and I to talk to a professional about what happened. He said with compassionate eyes, that they almost lost me, and to really sit with the emotions of that. He reassured me that this would have happened to me if I was at home, at the hospital, in a car or even during cesarean. That it was just the way it happened. He encouraged me to let go of any feelings of guilt. I survived and so did Matteo, and thats all that matters. Told me that I should be able to have other children in the future, but that my chances of this happening again is definitely possible. Then sent me home. Home. Where it all started and where it almost ended.

I was odd to drive home with a baby in the car. Matt was driving 5 miles an hour:) Anne and Berit had put a welcome home sign up for us. I was grateful to come home to a clean house, our birth team had gone back to our home and cleaned everything. I cannot image coming home to the house as it was when we left. Matt’s mom came to stay with us right away and I bunkered down in bed for the next couple of weeks. Just me and Matteo. Nesting and resting together. Making up for lost time.

I’d like to say it got easier from there but we continued to go through many other challenges and obstacles. Matteo had a scare with his weight gain. My milk supply nearly vanished. We ultimately found out he had an upper and lower tongue tie. We did the revision on him which was the second hardest thing I have ever been through. No one tells you how hard it will be to inflict pain on your child. However its now been 5 weeks past his mouth surgery and my milk supply is up and he finally has some chunky monkey rolls. Im proud to say that when he finishes a feeding , he ends with a beautiful milk mustache each time.

Ive gone through a rollercoaster of emotions the days, weeks and even months that followed all of this. Feelings of blame, guilt, shame, disappointment, gratitude, shock, pain, disbelief. But today I attempt to let those go. I am stronger and more educated on what happened to me now. I am a better birth advocate, a better mother, and a better, more grateful version of myself because of this. Today I am healthy. I have a beautiful son. I have a loving husband. I had the labor and delivery that was meant for me and Matteo. Thats our story. Who am I to judge it? I prayed for a labor I could handle. Apparently God thinks I’m a total bad-ass. Because I got through that. I survived. Thank God I survived.

Chiropractic Care

I want to talk about chiropractic care. Many people have fears around letting someone 7079524_orig“pop” you, especially when you are pregnant.
However, I think there is a lot of misinformation, as well as a lack of valuable information out there for the use of chiropractic during pregnancy.
Chiropractic care is an effective form of holistic health care that can help optimize function and increase comfort during pregnancy, labor and the postpartum period.

Adjustments have shown to help with alleviating back pain, sciatica, symphysis pubis dysfunction and overall discomforts for a happier and more comfortable pregnancy. They can help with maximizing function of the pelvic joints allowing greater movement during pregnancy and opening during labor, encouraging optimal nerve function for effective labor function and balancing pelvic bones and soft tissue structures to encourage optimal fetal positioning, thereby increasing optimal birth outcomes!

Fetal positioning is SO important. When your baby is in an optimal position (head down, their belly to your back, chin to chest, arms crossed over their heart) the labor can be so much easier on mom and baby! Im sure you have all heard of the dreaded “back labor” (baby’s back to your back). It can cause a long and painful labor with possible shoulder dystocia.

The correction of sacral subluxation may have a positive effect on all of these mal-presentation issues. Also for mamas with babies in a beech presentation, finding a chiropractor trained in the webster technique can be your saving grace in turning your baby into a head down position.

Its an important job to keep your body healthy, happy and properly aligned during your pregnancy. I assure you that proper care of your spine and pelvic ligaments will help you SO much in the birthing process and the postpartum recovery.

Yoga, specifically the Cat & Cow movements and spinal undulations coupled with chiropractic care can be the perfect combination to keeping your little baby in that optimal position, allowing both of you to feel your best!

Perineal Massage….Worth it?

There seems to be a fair amount of controversy on the topic of perineal massage. Some resources say you absolutely must, where others say it makes no significant difference….so…once again we are asked to make a decision that feels right to us, and us alone.

What I can provide is some great research and evidence that will hopefully make that decision a little bit easier for you!

First of all..what exactly is a perineal massage?

Typically, women are taught to spend about 10 minutes per day doing perineal massage, starting at about 34-35 weeks of pregnancy. Women are taught to insert 1-2 lubricated fingers (cut your nails short) about 2 inches into the vagina and apply pressure. First downward for 2 minutes, and then sideways for 2 minutes. The massage can be done by the woman or her partner (because you may not be able to reach anymore:) and sweet almond oil or coconut oil is often used for lubrication.


Why would you do this?

It is thought that massaging the perineum during pregnancy can increase muscle and tissue elasticity and make it easier for a mother to avoid tearing, requiring stitches during a vaginal birth.

Women who were randomly assigned to do perineal massage had a 10% decrease in the risk of tears that required stitches (aka “perineal trauma”), and a 16% decrease in the risk of episiotomy—but these findings were only true for first-time moms.

How often should you do the massage?

It is said that the more frequently women used perineal massage, the less likely they were to see any benefits. Women who massaged an average of 1.5 times per week had a 17% reduced risk of perineal trauma and a 17% reduced risk of episiotomy. Women who massaged between 1.5-3.4 times per week had an 8% reduced risk of perineal trauma.

Interestingly, women who massaged 3.5 times per week experienced NO benefits and had a longer pushing phase of labor by an average of 10 minutes. So basically the finding was: the less frequent the massage, the better off the outcomes.

Here is a video giving you a good visual (on a dummy that is:)

I hope this is helpful!

Resources: http://www.scienceandsensibility.org/what-is-the-evidence-for-perineal-massage-during-pregnancy-to-prevent-tearing/

Breech Baby….What to do?

So I have found that quite a few babies are breech these days. So I thought that I would cover some important information.

There are definitely a few things that you should do and a few you shouldn’t do as well…

For prenatal squats, it’s important that you only go half way down, rather than all the way down. When we go down into a full squat position we are encouraging baby to drop deeper into the birth canal which is a great thing for labor. However with a breech, we want to encourage that baby to come out of the birth canal so they can flip then, nessle down in there in a head down position. 

Also, you want to focus on as many inversions as you can each and everyday. Meaning positions where your head is lower then your heart and belly. Such as Downward facing dog, Bridge pose with your feet on the wall, knees up on the bed or couch with your hands on the ground….here is a great website with a lot of ideas. Try them all!!

If the inversions are not successful you may consider a manual external version. This procedure is typically done around 38-40 weeks. Here is a great video showing you what this looks like. Keep in mind that they are not all as easy or successful as this video, but watch it to get an idea of what the procedure looks like. It can be a good option if you are really hoping for a vaginal birth!

Here is some information about a manual version.

Another avenue to consider is Hypnosis. Johanna Nagel with L.A Birth Bliss has had great success in the past: http://www.labirthbliss.com

You can always consider a vaginal  breech delivery too! Contact me for more information on doctors in the area willing to support this choice.